My release into the jungle has opened my eyes. I'm no longer in fantasy land. Clearly, in many respects, my time at Duke was blissfully easy. This is the real deal, no joke. I very quickly realized that I was probably a bit overconfident upon being set free and my original fears took hold, which is a good thing, and I'm happy they responded so quickly! This is hard on the outside. Truly, the old habits, or at least their proclivities of thought process are strong and ingrained. Little things like, "I need food, I think I'll grab a quick bite at _______." Umm, nope, that doesn't work so well yet. Don't get me wrong, I've done well during my trip home...so much better than I imagined, and it waaasss possible, which was confidence building. Where I have always known what I like to eat, and from where, that thinking, from the dark days of doom before the DFC, I was able to use as avoidance techniques. I'm sure that I have not had my last fast food burger in my life, but I have goals now and those just do not help to get me there, so my desire is to avoid if at all possible.
Traveling and trying to get exercise in as well lengthened my trip a bit, but I think I smelled more roses than I normally would have. Certainly, I've only driven by Mount Pilot, and now I have hiked its Ledge trail. It nearly killed me, but in the past, this would have been avoided and appreciated from afar. I later stopped at a lot of historic sites along the "bourbon trail" in Kentucky, got in some walking and explored a little horse country to get a better look at what I've been driving past all these years. It was obvious that I can not just rely on the hotel gyms as 3 of 4 machines were out of order the day that I tried to use it.
Home is just how I left it, but colder...it takes a while to heat this huge space to a comfortable level. and my plants are still alive! Thanks to my sister for detouring herself to treat them to a rare watering. I knew my years of neglect would pay off with their fight for survival and unusual man made drought. I missed my couch and stretching out on it. But at the same time, this has also been the potato holder and the centerpiece to a lot of bad habits. I will be cautious that I don't extend to that space the same conveniences I once did.
First habit breaker today. I had breakfast. I had breakfast at the table. I had a hot breakfast, that I created, at the table, before noon!! I was up with the birds...I know it is only an hour time change, but I swear it takes a toll and takes a bit to adjust back. I've got stuff to do today. Grocery shopping will be the largest chore as I have to do it with new eyes, so I am fairly confident this will take three days as long as before. I will be joining the local gym today and hope I can workout there when I do. I've got a few days to get things established the way I need them to be and I'm so thankful I took this time.